It takes a bit of nerve to start writing again after what feels like almost a year. It takes even more nerve when the topic is a negative theory about the Pakistani community, and especially from a person in my position – a fresh foreign return. The phrases “hava lag gaye” and “zyada hi gora ban aaya” come instantly to mind, but what fun would it be if I returned to writing without getting at least a few angry responses. Given my history in article writing, a passive, agreeable return to writing would be no return at all.
So if you opened this article with a slight frown and a grim lip because of the title, my plan is working. Don’t worry, it wasn’t just a publicity stunt, I actually do intend to say some genuinely negative things about our dear country. After that you can hate on me and call me a few names. I know it will make you feel better about your own patriotic spirit. There are few things more reaffirming of one’s national loyalty than bashing a bit of “burger-ness”.
I have often made fun of returning Pakistani kids who find the life difficult to readjust to. But the fact remains that these people are a part of our population, and are in fact a potentially very influential part, after all, they went to attain what we all view as quality education. And while I only barely qualify as one of them, I can testify to the frustrations they feel. Living in Pakistan, over time we become immune and blind to many of the blatantly ridiculous things that go on. Spend enough time somewhere else to forget about them, and the reintroduction is startling.
I have come to believe that making a life in Pakistan, is not just about persisting through adversity and competition. It is not about putting in hard work and making yourself better than the herd. It is about battling frustration every day. Not just at the work place, everywhere, at the signal, at the bank, in the market, all around us. Almost everywhere we can see inefficient systems in place, which we all believe we could rearrange to make better. If only we were in charge, but we aren’t, because we didn’t marry the daughter-in-law of the person with the appropriate contacts. And as for the guy who did, well he’s exempt from the system, why should he bother fixing a system that doesn’t apply to him?
But I digress… that is not what this piece is about. This piece is about a philosophy that is actually not mine at all, but I found so agreeable that I decided to project it to whatever extent I can in the vessel of my words. Generally I’ve decided to write as often as I can, whenever I feel I encounter something worth sharing. Because life is shorter and faster than we imagine, and any opportunity however unlikely to make a mark should be taken.
Anyway, flipping through channels on late night TV the other day, I came to pause on a channel long enough to encounter the views of some random doctor in the audience of some random talk show. What he said really stuck with me, and over the next few days I contemplated the truth of his words. Allow me to summarize what he said:
“As a nation and a community, we are a collection of sadistic people. We do not realize when it is injected in our blood, but it is governed into each of us like a virus. Each and every person, in whatever capacity they are able to, will attempt to cause discomfort to the people they encounter, and derive pleasure from it. This pleasure may be of different types, it may appear as ‘stamping authority’, or ‘demanding respect’ or monetary gains or even just a joke. Whether it is a boss or some bank clerk, their first impulse will always be to break our stride, to make us pause and notice them, and to have to navigate them.”
Perhaps the doctor overstated how bleak things are, or perhaps he just did not have time to qualify particulars. I suspect the latter. Surely not all people are horrible all the time. We know that from our own experience, but I also know from experience that there are times when that person inside us is alive and well and imposing. The charitable helpful guy only seems to surface in times of affluence and ease. In other times the sadistic, selfish part of us comes out to play, and all it takes really is being hard done by one such sadistic encounter and the chain kicks off. Do unto others as you just had done unto you is the lesser stated human reaction.
Even in friendships, those times we’ve been ‘naughty’ or the concept of “taking” (making fun of friends) or spoiling a friend’s attempted pick-up. We’ve all done some of it sometime. Think back or go through a few days in life with this philosophy in mind and I’m sure you’ll see it apply to you too. I didn’t see it right away but after a few days and a little contemplation I now find myself agreeing completely with the doctor’s suggestion.
Maybe it’s just a product of poverty. Maybe it’s a culture thing. Or maybe it’s a psychological disease spread through the country like an epidemic, hitting us when we’re young and operating in our blind spot. Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe it’s good to be back.
No comments:
Post a Comment